guest post by Heather B. Wood of From Shadow to Seen

I wax philosophical on Sundays, mulling over those deep questions of human existence and why we are here. Are we here to take up space and get caught up in the gears of our cultural existence—sitting on the couch after a grinding day, watching news, sports or reality television? The key word here is “watching,” not creating. Or are we here to put something of ourselves out into the world to improve it if even a little bit? Shouldn’t life be about creating something—a song, a meal, a child, a home, a garden, a business, a dance, a blog or work of art? It does not have to be masterpiece to be a contribution. If that is what life is about, what gets in the way of creating?

I believe it is fear—fear of failing and of not being good enough. Fear that we don’t have the right talent, experience, credential, or degree. We are afraid to make something ugly or stupid and to be ashamed. We remember the time we painted our room yellow and instead of being surrounded in warm sunshine vibes, it looked more like our dog peed all over the wall. We remember the poem we wrote in college—the one about the heartbreak and agony of our first love—which got a “D” for drivel. We remember the time we planted a garden on a warm spring day and forgot to water it in. Next morning, every plant had withered and died.

Sometimes we don’t get it perfect the first time. We need to take small steps.  My sister, Bonnie Black, an author of three books and a university teacher, has said there are three things you need to do to when you write: edit, edit and edit. The key message here is in order to edit you have to have something to edit. Which means you must write something, anything, down on the paper. Let it sit there and walk away from it. Then reread it several times for clarity, flow and structure.  My friend, Pauline Hauder, a painter, will tell you in order to keep the creative juice flowing, you should paint (and play with) more than one canvas at a time—have several going, which insures not getting attached to the outcome of just one. “Keep playing,” she always says. She has drawn and painted hundreds of beautiful pictures and hundreds more that wound up as compost. We learn every time we try. Just keep playing.   Read more…

Guest blog by Gretchen Cawthon, of Girls Can’t WHAT?

When I was 14 years old, my family was hit head on by a drunk driver while traveling 55mph on a dark, snow-covered highway.  We all suffered injuries, with mine being the worst. One of my vertebrae was shattered and I was unable to move or walk. The first hospital I arrived at took one look at my x-rays and promptly shipped me off to another trauma center nearby. At hospital #2, they also shook their heads and said they couldn’t help and sent me off to an even bigger hospital in Indianapolis.

For three days, I laid in intensive care while doctors discussed the options with my parents, who despite broken ribs and other various injuries, had continued to travel with me from one medical facility to the next. The doctors taking on my case had seen similar injuries before. They worked closely with the race car drivers at the Indy 500 track and handled a lot of “high impact” injuries before. However, in most of the cases, the injured persons were left paralyzed from the waist down. Things weren’t looking so good for me.

Although most of the events from that time (20+ years ago) are fuzzy, there is one thing I remember fairly clearly. No one ever told me that the odds were impossible. I was simply told they were improbable. I remember thinking that impossible and improbable are two different things. I figured I at least had a chance, even if it was a slim one.

On the fourth day, I was taken in for surgery and the doctors fused together what they could from the bone fragments scattered around my spinal chord. They grafted some bone from my hip and then screwed in two metal plates from the vertebra above and below the fractured one, leaving me with a scar on my right hip and an 11″ incision down my back. That was the best they could do.  Whether I could walk or not was still unknown.

A few days later, I was scheduled to start physical therapy. Read more…

Whoopi Goldberg

Rosa Parks

This month, The Girl’s Guide to Swagger wishes to acknowledge African American History Month, otherwise known as Black History Month and salute all African American women working to make the world a better place.

These incredible women are an inspiration to us and many other minority women and girls who seek influential positive role models to help them move forward in the world.

We would like to especially acknowledge and suggest that we remember those women who know how to approach the world with swagger such as Whoopi Goldberg, Oprah Winfrey, Beyoncé, Maya Angelou, Mavis Staples, Condoleezza Rice and Aretha Franklin. If you need a little encouragement to get through your day this month, we suggest you look up these women to learn how they each overcame adversity and learned how to walk through life with high confidence to accomplish their goals.

Read more…

What do you think of when you see a group of teenage girls? Do you assume that they are good people, loving daughters, creative and brilliant or do you assume something else? Is it possible that teenage girls have gotten a bad name because some of them act out or get in trouble?

Ruby Taylor has launched a new campaign asking people to tell the truth about teenage girls – that they are beautiful, smart, caring, respectful and compassionate. Ruby has a gift of seeing the best in everyone, especially teenage girls, who are often misunderstood and misjudged. So often if we expect the worst from someone – we will get it. What about trying to expect the best from everyone?

By treating everyone with respect, we encourage each person to value themselves, which grows self-esteem. If girls lack confidence and swagger, it may be because they have not been treated with respect. Read more…

Deida Massey, Founder of Reel Beauty

Our series on Women of Swagger continues with a profile of Deida Massey, the founder of the non-profit, Reel Beauty. Deida swayed her swagger and in doing so, found a way to incorporate many of her passions to improve confidence and provide support to girls in the Chicago area. She studied law and eventually even earned a Masters of Jurisprudence in Child and Family Law. She also worked as an advocate for abused and neglected children. Deida felt that advocacy work was tremendously stressful. She saw “so much brokenness, so many families torn apart.”

Read more…

At the swagger movement, we get the opportunity to interview many incredible women. Their stories will be part of the book The Girl’s Guide to Swagger. Some of the interviews are so inspiring that we can’t wait for you to read them – so we will be running interviews as part of the blog.

To kick off the series, we interviewed Ann Alexander Leggett. She is a woman of incredible energy and accomplishment. Whenever I see her, I come away feeling inspired. Ann is an author, artist, athlete, runs her own company, and has founded a new skin care line. I asked Ann to tell us about her many projects and how the new skin care products were created in response to her own personal health challenge.

Can you briefly describe your current business and major projects?

In a nutshell, I own my own PR/marketing/design firm, OceanGirl Design (http://www.oceangirldesign.com). I have been working for myself for 28 years. Currently, I am doing a lot of PR for major street reconstruction projects, and design/marketing work for a large concrete company and an oil and gas services firm. My job requires me to be very detailed, very communicative, very upbeat.

I am also an artist and I work in mixed media. As a result of that, I am in the process of creating an eclectic neighborhood art market in Boulder 2mrkt.com .  I am the co-creator of a natural skin care company with my son that we expect to have up and running this spring. I am an author and just wrote a book with my daughter. “A Haunted History of Denver’s Croke-Patterson Mansion” (http://amzn.to/y383b6) was released by History Press last September. I am an active fundraiser for the Lance Armstrong Foundation, and several times a year I gather all my friends for events I plan to benefit that organization. In the fall I head to Austin to ride 50 miles on my bike to raise more money. I am also studying for my pilot’s license. I may be 90 by the time I get it, but by God, I will get it.

Tell us about why you started the new skin care line

After the treatments for my breast cancer, I started doing some research. The first question you ask when you are diagnosed with cancer is “why me?” In the quest to find out “why,” I found some interesting stuff that I had never paid much attention to before. For example, the typical woman is exposed to 200 harmful chemicals before she leaves her house in the morning. And most of those are in her personal body/makeup products. I looked at the labels on my products and literally threw everything away.

My particular kind of cancer was fed by estrogen. Parabens, a common preservative used in personal care products for both men and women, have been shown to mimic estrogen and are known to disrupt hormone function. This is just one of the many dangerous ingredients found in body care products. Phthalates, parabens, formaldehyde, triclosan (just go look at your labels). Once I dumped everything in the trash I was faced with nothing to use. I had to find alternatives. It was a major — and expensive — pain in the butt. It would have been easier just to keep it all and forget about it…take my chances. Ten years ago there weren’t that many good alternatives, so for years now I have been looking for safe alternatives, and making products in my kitchen to use, and I have finally decided that it is time to take this to the next level. Another whole thing to learn – the science of formulation, the best ingredients…it goes on and on. I love it. I love the creation of something that will be so valuable to people. It’s my way to give back. Makes me feel good. The company is called +plus modern skin (http://plusmodernskin.tumblr.com). We’ll launch in early April. Five years after my cancer experience, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. He is fine now too, but still. This company is near and dear to my heart.

Any other projects arise through responding to life challenges?

All of my projects are a result of responding to life challenges. There will be more challenges and more projects. Like so many others, I’ve had lots of off-the-chart tough times. As a result, I am always in overdrive. I am very driven. Perhaps to a fault, maybe, but it’s how I am wired. I strive to always get better. I strive to be the best at what I do. It certainly has its pitfalls at times. I don’t sleep much for days at a time, and I don’t take many days off. I worry. I stress. My mind never stops. So, I create art as a calm down. Or I go fly. Or I go to the gym. Or I vacuum. But actually, the busier I am, the more my mind is at peace, even though being so busy makes me crazy sometimes. It’s when I’m quiet that I get in trouble.

What can you say about the role of high confidence in finding the courage to take on so many unique and ambitious projects?

Confidence? Yikes. I feel as though I am always walking off a cliff. I know that if I don’t do it, I will be disappointed with myself. I hold myself to very high standards. I am very ambitious. I  love to learn. My ambitious projects are a result of me being different and very creative. I love having a million balls in the air and I like the craziness and different types of projects with which I am involved. It keeps me interested. It takes courage and confidence and ambition to just DO it. The best ad slogan ever is from Nike. It’s my mantra: JUST DO IT! I live my life by that. Every day.

For example, people ask me how to write books. How did I get them done? How did I get them published? How did I stay focused on writing? My answer is: Just write it! Just DO it! If you just do it, whatever it is, your life will fall into place. Take the steps you are afraid to take. In the end it will fulfill you. And that is what’s important.

Note: The story of Ann pursuing her pilot’s license is so good that we will run that story as installment #2 in the Women with Swagger Series.

Do you feel frustrated when you see the young women you know struggle with body image? You might have the same struggle – given the constant bombardment of media messages about how you are supposed to look.  You may already know that the pictures of women you see in magazines and on TV are often not real. The images are often enhanced, air brushed, and photo-shopped. So the ideal that we may be striving for is not even real.

Deida Massey decide to do something with her frustrations – she lives by Gandhi’s famous words – “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Deida is the founder of the Chicago non-profit Reel Beauty.  Here is Deida’s story:

Prior to pursuing her dream of being a makeup artist in the beauty, fashion, music and entertainment industry, Deida obtained a Master’s of Jurisprudence from Loyola School of Law in Child and Family Law. While in school, Deida worked as a paralegal for the Cook County Public Guardian’s Office in Chicago, Illinois.During the day she advocated for abused and neglected children as a paralegal, but her love for makeup led her to moonlight as a makeup artist at night and on the weekends. In fact, it didn’t take her long to trade in her cushy, nine-to-five job for a more creative and rewarding career in makeup artistry. She took a courageous leap of faith, left the Windy City and moved to Los Angeles, CA in 2002. In 2004, Deida’s vision to create Reel Beauty manifested while living in LA. She then decided to bridge the gap between her love and passion for makeup artistry and helping young women. Today Deida Massey is the Founder and Executive Director of Reel Beauty, Inc – an organization that assists at risk urban girls. “We teach them to value themselves and empower them with self worth, self-esteem and self confidence so they will be productive citizens within their environment. We do that by offering 10 activity-based workshops designed to help these young women resolve the problems they struggle with day to day.” Deida realized how detrimental the messages in today’s music, culture and media portrayal were. “I wanted to do something to combat all the negativity.”

Reel Beauty has mentored more than 500 girls offering workshops that help build positive self-image and supporting young women as they combat negativity in their lives and work toward their dreams.  Reel Beauty is working on expanding its program to Tanzania.

The Girl’s Guide to Swagger welcomes our newest partner Deida Massey and Reel Beauty.  We salute you for the good work you are doing supporting swagger for girls and for “being the change!”

Reel Beauty, Inc. is a 501 (c)(3) non profit that teaches teen girls ages 11-18 the importance of self-esteem, self-confidence and self-worth. We achieve our mission by offering proven self-esteem workshops that help develop young girls to become productive citizens within their environment.  Our ultimate goal is to become an international force of change. Web site: www.reelbeautyinc.com

Did you know that every day 400 new businesses are started by women – more than twice the number that are started by men that same day?  More than 10 million firms are owned by women.  Since 2002, the number of businesses owned by women has grown 55% and now more than 13 million people are employed in firms owned by women. *

One of those businesses is Houston Girl Friday started by Nicole Nicholas.

She says “Houston Girl Friday is a woman-owned, operated and supported company that provides virtual and onsite solutions to small business owners, solopreneurs and busy executives throughout the country.”

Welcome Houston Girl Friday as our newest swagger partner.

Link: http://www.HoustonGF.com

Would you like to find balance in your life and work on healing from the past?  Donna Daniell has a practice in Boulder CO that helps you do both.  I love Donna’s focus on women’s wellness.  Donna is incredibly insightful and supportive.    Here is a description of one of her workshops:

Balance Your Life Women’s Groups are  designed to provide support and skills for women specifically.  If you are going through a major transition in your life, my Level I group: Moving Mindfully Through Change is the perfect opportunity to turn that transition into a new beginning for you.  In this community of women you will learn the valuable tools of mindfulness meditation,  non-judgmental awareness & inquiry, visioning, exploration of your emotional blocks, and more.

More about Donna:

I am a specialist in mindfulness-based psychotherapy and coaching. My life’s work has brought me to teaching families, adults, couples and teens how to be present and balanced in themselves and in their relationships with others. My expertise is working with women and families through transitions and the life cycle as well as with difficult parenting challenges. I am a certified IFS therapist and trainer and use this model for inner healing, for trauma & attachment issues individually, with couples, and groups.

I’ve been in private practice as a family therapist and generalist in the Boulder/Longmont area for 21 years. I received my Masters Degree in social work in 1989 from Denver University. My training was in clinical work with systems such as families and relationships. As a child and family therapist, I have worked with a variety of different clients, from families of extreme trauma (neglect and abuse) in residential treatment settings and mental health and day treatment settings, to middle class families in EAP programs in hospitals, schools and in private practice. I have experience with families experiencing grief, trauma, divorce, giftedness and sensory integration issues, spirited children and teens, and step-families.

To find out if you can benefit from working with Donna, either in person or via Skype, take a look at her website http://www.findbalanceinyourlife.com/.

Welcome to Donna and Balance Your Life – the newest swagger partners!

Do you believe that our next generations of leaders will be women?  For a world in turmoil, I believe that leadership by women is imperative to our survival as a planet. Our current system of domination attempts, war, and exploitation is killing many women and children and damaging the environment.

We need a new ethic not based on the idea that man has dominion over the planet and resources. A new paradigm that respects the limited resources of our planet and supports equal rights for all people is needed. Women are generally more oriented toward collaborative problem-solving and leveling the playing field for all people – rather than trying to win and dominate.

How will our future leaders get the support and training they need? Organizations like Inspired Girls International are providing opportunities for leadership for girls and are reaching out through media resources to convey empowering messages.  The Girl’s Guide to Swagger is proud to welcome our newest partner – Inspired Girls International.

Inspired Girls International creates programming and content for girls and the organizations that support them. Through our signature programs and workshops, girls evolve into feminine leaders and well-adjusted young women.

Visit www.inspiredgirlsonline.com to learn more.