guest post by Cynthia Kocialski, shared by Girls Can’t WHAT?
You hear it all the time as a little child, “No, you can’t do that.” As a parent, I say “no” more frequently than I say “yes,” mostly for safety reasons. As a parent it’s frustrating when your child ignores you and does something anyway. But until writing this post, I never stopped to think about whether this is a good thing to do? If I say no, will this stifle my child’s drive to reach their ambitions and dreams in the future? So I am reflecting upon those no’s that I received as a child.
I have to admit, I was far less supervised than my children. Times were different. There weren’t so many child protection laws. I had three older siblings who were all attending private colleges at the same time. My parents weren’t wealthy and both had to work in order to pay the bills for three tuitions. In fact, my earliest memory of my oldest brother is the day he left for college. For the most part, I was left to myself, to do what I wanted.
My seventh birthday was my first recollection of not accepting “no.” My parents had a simple rule; I could do what I wanted as long as it didn’t cost anything. Throughout kindergarten and first grade, it seemed all my friends were having birthday parties and I wanted one too. I knew if I asked my parents would say “no.” Not to be deterred, one day I took some drawing paper and made party invitations for my classmates. I invited every girl in my class of 120 students. I handed them out at school the next day. Then I told my parents I was having a birthday party at our house and I handed them the list of things – birthday cake, party decorations, prizes – that I needed. I don’t recall them saying anything, they just did as I asked and it was a great birthday party. Of course, my parents not saying anything just encouraged me. Finally, I saw how to get what I wanted! Read more…