Guest blog by Rachel Prinz

At the end of 2010, in the midst for trying to reframe my life’s work, asking myself if I was actually doing what I REALLY wanted to be doing, I sat down for a couple of weeks and read. I read every book I could get my hands on that dealt with finding and then cultivating your true purpose.  When I read everything the library had and everything I could get them to borrow from other libraries, I sat with it… and I started observing my life as if watching from the outside.

The lost, the found, and the connectors

One of the first things that I realized was that I was surrounded by one of two types of people: I called them “the lost” – people who had no idea what they were doing or why, and in vastly greater numbers in my case… “the found” – people who not only knew what they wanted but were voracious at going after it.

I realized too that I was “a connector” in the modern parlance – I had lots of connected friends and I put them together regularly to help them achieve goals. Wow. That was awesome. But was that all I was here for? Wasn’t I supposed to be DOING something myself too?  I had successfully built a network of “manifestors” but I myself wasn’t one. Nor did I know how to become one. Because, if you ask a manifestor how they became that, most will look at you quizzically. If they can come up with an answer, it is usually something like “I just tried everything until I got good at (a few, or one) and I committed to that with every fiber of my being.”

An opportunity

Then, a dear older architect friend of mine who is often more mentor than friend sent me a link to an award she thought I should apply for – a scholarship named after my best friend Jason Pettigrew, who died several years ago on the eve of his 30^th birthday. She thought that I would be a natural fit for the award, which would pay for the study materials and the exams required for the Architect’s Registration Examination, which besides being prohibitively expensive is also the hardest endeavor an architectural designer can make, taking months if not years of study and 7-9 extremely rigorous tests in everything from structural engineering to architectural design to civil engineering to architecture history.

Not only do I find the test extremely intimidating, but ANYONE finding me worthy of an award in Jason’s name, I thought was completely undeserved. Jason was not only thriving in his practice, but successfully finishing the exams, a leader both in state and national AIA, active in his community AND finishing up seminary when he died. He was one of those rare leaders who made everyone want to come along, made everyone feel empowered and capable, including me. Which is why, when I found out I was going blind, I moved halfway across the country to be near him. If anyone could save me from myself as I grappled with my diagnosis, he could. And he did.

In my mind, I wasn’t worthy of any award in his name. I saw myself as just another architectural designer, of no real note or even purpose. But I wanted to see if I could be worthy of such an award.

My purpose

Then, it all started to come together… I already knew from my time sitting in the silence of “what am I here for” what I was. I was 100% sure that I wanted to be an architectural educator. I LOVE architecture. I love talking about it, and from many perspectives – how light and shadow make us feel comfortable, or tense, and how we can use that tension to make people awake, alert, centered, hopeful… or the reverse.  I love how architecture relates to psychology and art and science. I love the flow of it. How traditionalists and modernists battle for a voice in the vortex of spatial mediocrity we find everywhere around us. I knew my objective. And I had a collection of friends who were good at making things happen. I remembered the advice… “commit to that with every fiber of (my) being.” I didn’t think I could get a job teaching architecture in the academies without some credentials, but a friend gently prodded me one day, saying “So what? You want to teach? Then TEACH.”

Action and response

So I started talking. And writing. I approached anyone with anything to do with anything architectural, asked them how we could share ideas that would connect us in our purposes. I put the ideas out there, for free. Through blogs, through tweets, through Facebook… I shared my knowledge. In the year since I started sharing, I have been invited to speak to community groups, to the Historic Preservation Commission, to the Arts and Culture District, to the state archaeology convention, to 200 non-architects at the design series Pecha Kucha… eventually I even got invited to speak to an audience of 700 at TEDxABQ , which was posted on youtube, then picked up by one of the architecture newsreels and eventually seen by thousands of people. From there I was asked to come to colleges and speak to students of art and historic preservation.  I started collecting new friends from all over the world on Twitter and Facebook, and through sharing our ideas and our ideals freely, we started seeing ways we could work together to achieve real changes in our communities. I was working too, and whenever I could, I would connect the people with a problem with the people with a solution. I was cultivating both my connector and my manifestor, and I didn’t need to be a professor to do it. I was teaming up with great people, bringing architectural education to everyday people, all over the world.

My own unique voice

So this year, the time has come again for the applications for the AIA Jason Pettigrew scholarship. And this year, I might just apply. Because I learned how I could REALLY make a difference, with my own unique voice, and in a powerful and uplifting way. I learned how to go for it even if it made no sense to anyone around me. I didn’t need permission. I just needed to look for opportunity and then be brave enough to try. More often than not, I was actually able to manifest making a difference. I think Jason would have liked that very much. I know I do.

Find out more about Rachel and her work at http://www.archinia.com/. To those whom my life may touch in slight measure, May I give graciously Of what is mine….

Links:  TED http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmkIE0hfVko

Pecha Kucha http://vimeo.com/26635579

Several years ago, at a time of an important transition – I was looking for a couple of pieces of inexpensive furniture.  At the local art co-op, I found a table with tall, spindly legs painted in delicate purple colors.  The tag on it said Walks Tall Table.  I liked the sound of it!  The name made me feel better.  When I opened the drawer – I saw this message – Live Your Dreams, Love Your Life.

At that moment, I was thinking of leaving my partner.  The relationship had become abusive.  I was afraid of what might happen if I left. But in that moment – looking at that message, I knew that I had to leave and I got the courage and confidence to do so.  The desk and I moved into an apartment and I started a new life.  It was hard and lonely and I was afraid many times, but that step led me toward living my dream of becoming a writer.

Are you facing challenges? What would your life look like if you were living your dreams?

Read more…

Do you have a personal mission statement?

A personal mission statement is a short summary of what you believe and what you hope to accomplish in your life. If you have this kind of statement, you know how powerful it can be – if you have lost your way or are having a hard time prioritizing the demands in your life.

If you don’t have such a statement – perhaps you would like to develop one?  I’ve found that taking time away from regular life – whether it is an hour at a coffee shop or a week-end in the mountains is the best setting for thinking about what is important in your life.  You might do some free writing about what you want to accomplish or try some of the exercises discussed in the blog on Standing on Top of your Life http://www.girlsguidetoswagger.com/?p=878 or some of the others focused on manifesting your dreams.  You might draw or sketch your ideas.

There are many resources available to you, as you begin your thinking.  You can refer to the work done by Stephen Covey in his book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People or his subsequent books.  If you get a calendar system from Covey, there is usually an insert that helps you figure out your personal mission and then develop goals and activities that support it.  Another effective tool is described in the book and workbook for The Path by Laurie Beth Jones.  Meant to be used individually or in a workshop, these tools guide you through thinking and writing that lead to a mission statement.  Another book I love is Life Mapping by Bill Cohen.  In this book, Cohen helps you discover your basic beliefs and goals and turn them into a life map with activities and schedules. Cohen cites a study, in which Yale graduating students were interviewed to determine which had written goals and plans. The same people were interviewed 20 years later.  The three percent of students who had written goals had achieved more professional success than the other 97% combined and also seemed happier.

When I taught at the University of Colorado’s College of Architecture and Planning, we began the semester by looking at our values and using them to help guide our personal mission statements and to establish goals.  For some of the students, it was the first time they had focused on what they really wanted professionally and personally.  We used the information they discovered at the beginning of the semester to guide their research and projects for the rest of the class.  I saw this process have a transformative effect on some of the students.  As they gained clarity, they gained confidence.  Their enthusiasm increased, as did the quality of their work.

How can a personal mission statement help you focus and achieve?  After developing my statement, I began to use it to set yearly goals. I look at it each week, as I make my schedule and appointments.  I prioritize the tasks that are aligned with my mission and those that move me toward my goals.

I developed this mission statement several years ago.  It has guided me to where I am now – living in Taos NM and writing about nature and women and confidence.  You can read the statement below and see if you think I am living my mission.

I believe that humans, acting from selfish motives, have taken a wrong path. On this wrong way, women have lost their confidence and their inner voice. I believe that an inner commitment to serve and a desire to align with the laws of nature is the basis for a better world.

I want to be part of returning to the right path and the healing of nations, which is possible through realignment with the laws of nature and the restoration of the voice of women.

Have a comment or experience to share? Join us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/GirlsGuideToSwagger.

How long does it take to realize a dream?  Can you remember back to the inspiration – the creative flicker that set you on your current path?  Have you recently had a flash of insight that may become a dream and then a plan and eventually a reality?

In 2002, while on a trip – I was writing in a journal.  I was thinking about my job developing affordable housing and how much I had learned about confidence in the previous ten years.  My first time running a construction site, I was young and fairly inexperienced.  I was constantly tested by the site superintendent.  I finally found a way to be confident.  To see how I found my confidence, you can take a look this short clip on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPyhMOLuv-Y and look at Girls Who Swagger and then Swagger at Work on the website.

By 2002, I had moved from developing 35 townhouse units, a childcare and community center to overseeing the development of 27 acres  with more than 300 units of housing, neighborhood businesses, and a park.  This project, known as the Holiday Neighborhood is now a thriving, award- winning project – www.holidayneighborhood.com.  I had the confidence to coordinate seven different developers, multiple architects, bankers and lawyers.  I loved what I was doing and was feeling good about my abilities – but there was something in the back of my mind that kept surfacing.

At first swagger was just a whisper, a note on a page.  Then it was an idea that I began to quietly discuss with friends.  Next, swagger was a thought that I shared with other professional women.  An amazing thing happened – those women began to tell me their stories.  I started to collect the stories and the idea for a book was born.  After building a website and making connections through social media – I saw that swagger was bigger than a story or a collection of stories or a book – it was a part of a growing number of organizations supporting girls and women, working toward gender equality.  These organizations are creating momentum toward social change and the swagger movement is part of that sweeping wave of change.

It is 2011 – nine years since that first creative flicker.  In the picture above, I am back where I worked developing affordable housing – but this time, I am talking about swagger!  Amazing how life turns back on itself, spiraling and changing, crossing back and moving on.

What is your creative dream?  How will you achieve it?

Note:  photo by Liz Wolfert

Dear Friends – due to an overwhelming number of Spam comments, we will be closing the blog to comments for now.  To post a comment, please join us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/GirlsGuideToSwagger. Thanks, Cindy

¿Después que tú haces un plan y haces realidad un sueño como se siente vivir tu sueño?

Yo he encontrado  que es lo más bello y lo más desafiante de lo que yo nunca me imaginé. Han pasado dos años desde que yo deje mi trabajo in Boulder Housing  Partners,como directora del Departamento de Desarrollo Urbano. Y he estado viviendo mi sueño de ser una escritora, viviendo en New México desde el 2009.

Cuando yo estaba trabando tiempo completo, yo me imaginaba una nueva vida lo único que tenía era una nube llena de esperanzas. Ahora,  más de lo que esperaba se ha hecho realidad. Yo he caminado en las montañas de Taos y escribo para las noticias de  Taos, también trabajo para el proyecto de  guía de  muchachas seguras de sí mismas y con aptitud, que incluye un libro. También he tenido la oportunidad de entrevistar extraordinarias mujeres que han compartido sus experiencias que me han servido pare este libro and muchos amigos y familiar me han acompañado con su apoyo y entusiasmo.

Sin embargo, algunas cosas todavía no son perfectas, tu computadora se te daña, documentos
se pierden, y correos electrónicos y todo tomo más tiempo de lo planeado. Cuando tú escribes de cosas que son importantes para ti, el apoyo significa mucho pero la critica también duele más. Read more…

My name is Alicia Ajayi  http://aliciaoajayi.com/and I am a young women just coming into her own swagger. I am a University of Colorado graduate and received my Bachelors in Environmental Design in 2008. After graduation I worked as an Intern Architect for a successful architecture firm in Boulder, CO. I was fortunate enough to work for a woman in a male-dominated industry who taught me that every success she had achieved was due to fierce tenacity and creativity. As my confidence in my abilities, determination and passion continue to grow, so do the risks I take.

While it is nerve-racking, stressful, and totally against my Type A personality to go outside of the box I am taking the time to realize my dreamsand building the courage to chase them with a “by any means necessary” attitude!

I am taking a non-traditional path to becoming an architect. This fall I will be attending Washington University in St. Louis (Wash U) to pursue a Masters in Social Work. I decided to diverge from a strictly architecture driven career and pursue an education in social work to understand how to design healthy, livable and inspiring spaces for under-served populations
specifically in urban areas.

Recently I was accepted into a design-build program entitled CityStudioSTL( Somethingness: Ways of Seeing and Building, which will be led by Theaster Gates Jr.,  a prominent artist and social activist. The intent of the program is to encourage students to think of innovative designs that are directly fueled by the cultural and physical characteristics of the site while providing a positive space for one of the most run down areas in St. Louis. The program will result in a built work in the Hyde Park community of St. Louis.

Unfortunately I will not be able to participate in this program due to the cost to attend the program, unless I can raise some money to do so. Therefore I have launched a fundraiser site to help raise enough money to be a part of this amazing
opportunity.

I recently found a quote by Nikki Giovani, a female poet with an abundant amount of swagger, that will not leave my head nor my heart.

“I really don’t think life is about the I-could-have-beens. Life is only about the I-tried-to-do. I don’t mind the failure but I can’t imagine that I’d forgive myself if I didn’t try.”

I know that it will be nothing short of a miracle for me to raise this money in the next few weeks but I am willing to risk failure at the
chance of achieving my dreams. Please visit the website and help me to raise $4000 by July 1st!

Swag On Ladies!

Alicia Ajayi