Were you assigned a role by your family when you were young?  Did and does that role limit who you are and what you can become?  Would you have more confidence and swagger if you rediscovered who you really are and your potential for creativity?

Read about the recovering of grace in How to get swagger Tip #4 – with wisdom by business adviser, author, TV talk show host, astrologer and swagger wise woman Cindy Morris.

I was the baby in a family with three much older siblings. It seems that by the time I came around all the good qualities were already distributed to the other kids. In the distorted view of my family if one person did well at something than another one couldn’t. There was a limited amount of everything to go around –resources, love, creativity, and grace. My older sister was the designated artist and dancer. By the family rules then I could not be.

I grew up under the belief that that I was klutzy, uncreative, and lacking in grace. And so I felt myself to become that  – for until we stand up and claim our right to be exactly who we wish to see ourselves to be, we just become who everyone else tells us we are. At least that’s what happened to me.

In this, my 55th year on the planet, I fell in love with my dance teacher. I went to dance with him every day. I stood behind him and imitated his infinitely graceful moves. My hands became his, my legs his. I tilted my head like his and I twirled across the floor like him. One day as I dared to look in the mirror at myself in dance class I saw my hand suspended in space and it reached to the sky like something in the Sistine chapel. As my heart ignited and burst open with love I let myself be something other than the family story. I became the swan I truly am, loved and touched with grace.

Take a look at everything Cindy does at http://priestessastrology.com/.

Do you want more swagger in your life?  Here is tip #3 in our series on How To Get Swagger, this one from Donna Daniell, psychotherapist with Balance your Life and swagger wise woman

How to get swagger?  Stay balanced and feel your full self —-how do you feel that in yourself each day?   What are the tools that you use to feel that true essence of your authentic self?

What are the activities that you do that bring you to your best “swagger”?    I can name some of the ones that work for me:   Walking my dog and breathing in the morning air, my favorite yoga class,  singing, dancing, getting a new client, feeling totally alive after a huge workout or hike or bike ride, feeling emotionally and spiritually connected to someone who really gets you and you get them,  riding my mountain bike — that’s really when I feel swagger.   I teach all about this in my groups…..especially my Innerwork group/community of women.

What do you do that allows you to feel your true essence and find your confidence?  How can you bring more swagger into every day? Have a comment?  Join us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/GirlsGuideToSwagger.

If you had more confidence, could you accomplish more in your life and have more fun doing it?  The Girl’s Guide to Swagger asked some swagger wise women for their best advice on how to get swagger.  Today, here are a handful of ideas from Lorie Fuller – woman of swagger and mother extraordinaire of two young daughters.  Take a look at what Lorie has to say – which one will you choose to increase your swagger factor?

-  Find your sense of humor in the mundane, everyday situations – humor not only carries you, but also those around you
-  Commit to something, follow through, and then celebrate your accomplishment
-  Find a woman with Swagger, take her to coffee, and find out how she gets hers
-  Stand up for yourself or someone else who cannot, no matter what anyone thinks – stand by your beliefs
-  Visualize what Swagger looks like and how it interacts with life.  Then visualize yourself that way.

I think of this group of swagger tips as being proactive in increasing your level of confidence – making a plan and being intentional about what you stand for in the world.  These tips are also about follow through – standing up for your beliefs and for others and making connections by finding other women of swagger.

Thanks to Lorie for her wisdom!  What advice do you have for girls and women who are working on increasing their confidence and self-esteem?  Join the discussion on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/GirlsGuideToSwagger or email me at thegirlsguidetoswagger@gmail.com. Thanks!  Cindy

Do you want more swagger in your life?  How can you get it?  Today, The Girl’s Guide to Swagger is starting at series called:  How to Get Swagger.  I’ve invited some of the awesome wise women of swagger in my life to share their tips and ideas on how to build confidence and self-esteem.  We will kick it off with advice from Ruby Taylor. Ruby is a social worker in the schools and helps girls build their self-esteem through her new organization The Priceless Project.  Ruby says:

Girl Swagger Tip: Positive Self Talk

The ability to say positive, nice, kind, and encouraging words to ourselves will increase our swagger value. Every time you think negative of yourself or someone states a negative comment about you, you must state a positive.

So here is your challenge, when your inner critic starts in on you about some mistake you made today or yesterday or five years ago – just stop, notice, and then state something positive.  You can also respond to your inner critic by saying ”thanks for sharing” in either a tender or sarcastic voice, whichever works for you.

Or when you find yourself repeating in your mind an unfair criticism of you that someone voiced today or long ago - stop, notice, say outloud – that is SO not true.  Then say something positive like – “I really accomplished a lot today” or “I did something kind and thoughtful today.”

You may find that as you respond with the affirmative, your thought patterns become more and more positive, and your self-confidence and energy grow.  Give it a try and let me know how it goes.  You can join the conversation on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/GirlsGuideToSwagger or email Cindy at thegirlsguidetoswagger@gmail.com.

Take a look at Ruby’s work and join The I Am Priceless Picture Project.

Ruby L. Taylor, M.S.W.  at The Priceless Project http://PricelessProject.com.

This week The Priceless Project launched a new website.  Project Founder Ruby Taylor says:  “When my family/friends and I talked about starting The Priceless Project, one of the core goals we had for this project was to leave our community and the global world better off than we found it. Our mission is to remind girls and young women that their lives matter, that they are more than their looks, and they have the right to stand up for themselves.”

You can take a look at the new website at http://pricelessproject.com/.  Among the features are shout-outs – messages of love and support that you can send out to the girls in your life, along with on-line mentoring, a quiz, contests and resources.  The Girl’s Guide to Swagger is proud to be among the resources listed and we will be partnering with The Priceless Project in more ways in the months to come.

Only 2% of women across the world think they are beautiful today. The Priceless Project wants to reach 1,000,000 girls and young women with the message that they are beautiful and priceless.  Together, we can raise our voices to support girls and give them permission to swagger. Take a look and see how you can be part of the solution!

Dear Friends – due to an overwhelming number of Spam comments, we will be closing the blog to comments for now.  To post a comment, please join us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/GirlsGuideToSwagger. Thanks, Cindy

How do you feel about your body?  It took me a long time before I realized my body was not my enemy.  As a teen-ager and young woman in my 20′s, I was very aware of my body and never quite satisfied with it.  I always wanted to be taller and thinner.  As I began to hike and become stronger and more fit – I gained more confidence in my body.  I also noticed that there were so many different wild flowers – some tall and thin and some petite and pretty.  I felt healthy and strong and finally began to accept my body as my friend and companion in life.

MISSION STATEMENT
The mission of Courage is Change is to end the generational cycle of abuse and violence by empowering children, youth and adults to create non-violent communities through healthy relationship development.

Courage is Change seeks to address  all the causes and effects of violence and abuse in the lives of individuals through education, communication and community involvement.

It is amazing to me what a small group of people working together for social change can accomplish.  Courage is Change is a non-profit organization that takes action is a number of forms to stop violence and support young women.  One of their efforts is called It Stops with Me, a pledge to end dating and domestic violence.  Another program is  the Rent Tent Clubthat meets at 5 high schools in Boulder.  The mission is:

…to provide a space for young women to create community, to be accepted, to learn tolerance and to create healthy relationships with peers. Young women learn to find their voice, the power of intuition and to increase confidence in their abilities.

Courage to Change, It Stops with Me, and the Red Tent Club are the newest partners in the swagger movement.  Welcome and thanks for the good work you do to end violence and support girls in finding their swagger!  www.courageischange.org, www.itstopswithme.org, http://www.facebook.com/courageischange

Dear Friends – due to an overwhelming number of Spam comments, we will be closing the blog to comments for now.  To post a comment, please join us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/GirlsGuideToSwagger. Thanks, Cindy

If you have trouble saying no – maybe you would like some help!  We all struggle at times to say no – especially to friends, relatives, or good causes.  What helps you say no?  For me, it helps to think of some ideas in advance and even practice saying them.  I try to imagine myself saying things like “It is such a great project and I wish I could help, but I can’t right now.”  I see myself saying such things with grace and ease and in a way that does not destroy the relationship or eliminate future possibilities.

A friend of mine is working on not saying yes – when she means no.  I think that this is a great spiritual and personal growth quest.  It is the ultimate kindness to ourselves to only put our energy where we want to, where we can be most productive – not necessarily where other people think we should be putting our time and resources.  As we align our time and money with our values, I believe we become more intentional, more productive, and happier.  We experience less guilt, more confidence, and step more solidly onto our own path.

Take a look at this link for more ideas on honest ways to say no.

http://glo.msn.com/relationships/no-can-do-1533109.story?gt1=49006

Are you a girl or woman with swagger?  How did you get it?  According to the Swagger Survey, which has been completed by 106 women:

*40%   were born with it

*22%   learned it at school

*26%    learned it at work

*37%    faked it until it was real

*15%    are still faking it

(note – doesn’t add to 100% because respondents can choose more than one answer)

As the age of the women taking the survey has dropped, the number of women who say they are born with swagger has been increasing – which is great news!  For those of use who weren’t born with swagger, there are a number of ways that we learn it – including faking it until it is real.  I think pretending to be more confident than you are is a great way to increase your actual confidence.  Interestingly 37% said they faked it until it was real, but only 15% said they were still faking in – an indication that you can learn and move on and not have to pretend any more.

I felt my emerging swagger for a long time before I actually felt permission to swagger and enjoy it.  As a girl, I got mixed reaction to my high level of confidence and leadership.  Sometimes I was encouraged, but many times I was told to keep it down and sit down.  It was not until I read these words from Clarissa Pinkola Estes in her book Women Who Run With the Wolves that I felt permission to feel really feel and own my swagger:

“Although some might really prefer you behave yourself and not climb all over the furniture in joy or all over people in welcome, do it anyway. Some will draw back from you in fear or disgust.  Your lover, however, will cherish this new aspect of you – if he or she be the right lover for you. Some people will not like it if you take a sniff at everything to see what it is.  And for heaven’s sake, no lying on your back with your feet up in the air.  Bad girl.  Bad wolf.  Bad dog.  Right?

Wrong. Go ahead.  Enjoy yourself.”

Last week, I had the pleasure of discussing swagger with two groups of girls and a group of women.  As we talked about where girls and young women wish they had more confidence, a common theme emerged -  they wished they had more confidence to stand up for their friends when other people, especially the “popular girls” talk trash about their friends.  Particularly common was the wish to talk back to a group of mean girls who were bad-mouthing other girls who were not present.  With the Boulder YMCA Girl Power group of middle-school girls, we talked about situations where we wished we had been more brave and we practiced what we would say when a situation came up again.  The girls had great suggestions, like “I wish you wouldn’t say that about my friend, she would never talk that way about you.” “That is not a nice thing to say.” Read more…

All women have swagger – they are just waiting for permission to use it.

- Cindy Brown

Cindy Brown, founder of the Swagger movement will be in Boulder July 19-21, offering a series of workshops and presentations for girls and women. Swagger is the permission girls and women need to feel their full confidence and to increase their success at work, home, church, on the playing field and world stage, and in their relationships.  The presentations include:

• Tuesday, July 19:  YWCA Puente – Discussion and hike with participants in YWCA Punte, a program for Latina girls
  transitioning from middle to high school focused on positive body image and self-confidence.
• Wednesday, July 20:  Boulder Housing Partner Lunch and Learn – Lunchtime brownbag with Boulder Housing Partner (BHP), the housing authority of the city of Boulder, to discuss how the swagger concepts can be incorporated into the services provided by BHP to women and girls.
• Thursday, July 21: YMCA of Boulder Valley Girl Power Camp – Program of games, discussion, journaling, hiking and fun with middle school girls – focused on feeling confident and making their voices heard. According to the YMCA “since the Y’s
  three areas of focus are youth development, healthy living and social responsibility, the Swagger movement program taught to the middle school girls is a welcome collaboration.”

What is Swagger? Swagger means high feminine confidence. In the Swagger movement, we believe that swagger is important because women have many talents to contribute to the world, but the world has become out of balance, dominated by male energy. We believe that we need both male and female energy in the world and when those energies are in balance, there are more equitable and satisfying life opportunities for all people. By gaining confidence, especially at an early age, women are more able to make their contributions and help bring balance to the world.

The movement was born of Brown’s experience working in male-dominated professions for the past 25 years.  She is the former Co-Executive Director of Boulder Housing Partners and was an instructor at the University of Colorado, College of Architecture and Planning.  The Swagger movement is part of a growing number of organizations aimed at promoting self-confidence in young women, including the UN Program Girl Up and sister effort – The Priceless Project:  http://PricelessProject.com

For more information, contact 720-341-9703 or visit the website at www.girlsguidetoswagger.com.   For more information on YMCA programs, contact Susan Coker at 303-406-1180.

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