Would you like to be able to recognize a controlling and possibly abusive person, before you get too involved with them? Or maybe you just don’t want to waste your time on someone who has completely different values that you do. It can be hard to see a potential partner clearly when you are in the breathless haze of falling in love or lust. Here are some suggestions from the swagger team and some information from experts in the field on how to tell if a new potential partner might be right for you and how to identify someone who might become controlling.

Swagger Screening tool

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Have you heard about the new book by Lisa Bloom? It’s called Swagger:10 Urgent Rules for raising boys in an era of failing schools, mass joblessness, and thug culture. In this book, Bloom makes the case that there is too much swagger in our culture.

In fact, the first of her ten rules for raising boys right now is “Lose the Swagger, Kid.” She says the first thing that is needed is “a major attitude adjustment.”  According to her research, we’ve become a culture seeking fame and fortune. For example, in the 1950’s, just 12 percent of high school seniors felt that they were a “very important person.” Now 80percent of high school seniors feel that way. Bloom said that in an effort to support self-esteem in kids, we’ve gone too far and created a culture that over estimates our capabilities and accomplishments.

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