Do you want more swagger at work?  Here is a fun exercise  from book-in-progress The Girl’s Guide to Swagger. You can use it as a guideline to write your thoughts or you can do the exercise in a group of friends.

Swagger practice:

1.  Think about a situation at work, either present or past, in which you wish you had more confidence.  How would you like to act differently the next time the opportunity arises?

2.  Think of someone you admire who has plenty of swagger.  How do you think she might react in the situation you are thinking about?

3.  Now think about what part of her actions you like, what feels comfortable to you? How would you alter her imagined response, so it fits you better?

4.  Visualize yourself full of confidence with increased courage and effectiveness.  How do you imagine yourself acting in the same situation? What words would you use?

5.  What helps you develop a strategy – talking to a friend or co-worker?  How can you test out your new tools in a low risk situation?

6.  What outcome would you like to have when you try your new strategy?

Have ideas or suggestions?  Join the discussion on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/GirlsGuideToSwagger.

Did you know that every day 400 new businesses are started by women – more than twice the number that are started by men that same day?  More than 10 million firms are owned by women.  Since 2002, the number of businesses owned by women has grown 55% and now more than 13 million people are employed in firms owned by women. *

One of those businesses is Houston Girl Friday started by Nicole Nicholas.

She says “Houston Girl Friday is a woman-owned, operated and supported company that provides virtual and onsite solutions to small business owners, solopreneurs and busy executives throughout the country.”

Welcome Houston Girl Friday as our newest swagger partner.

Link: http://www.HoustonGF.com

Welcome to the first installment of our new advice column – Swagger Up by Cindy Brown.  Today, we respond to a question from a swagger friend about asking for a raise at work:

Question: Since I started I do a lot more and know a lot more to make things easier on my boss.  I’m wanting to ask for one but don’t know how!  My boss and I get along really well so I’m sure it will be lighthearted… we joke a lot together.   I’ve made some smart-alec hints before but he’s not catching on…   I do get Christmas bonuses and I think he thinks that makes up for raises.  Does it?  How do I ask for one?  How much should I expect?  And how often should a person receive one?   Thanks! Shawna

Swagger Up Reply: How big is your company?  If it is small, there might not be any written policies on how often you are eligible for a raise.  The first question is – are there any policies?

Next, I would get organized with all your facts – how long you’ve been there, additional duties etc. A great book for reference is Getting to Yes - which is about negotiation.  You could get all ready and then ask for a short meeting.  You might start with questions like – I wanted to find out if there is a policy about raises and when I might be eligible for one?  When a question is asked in a matter-of-fact, non-threatening way, it will help it to be well-received.  I’d suggest that you have a series of follow- up questions ready to go in case the discussion gets awkward – things like “What were you thinking about when it would be appropriate for us to discuss a raise? Is there feedback that you can give me to help my performance? How can I be more helpful to you?”

Be prepared to listen for any ideas on how you can do an even better job and his level of openness about the raise.  From my experience, I would say that a raise is typically discussed at the one year anniversary of starting your job.  Depending on the economy and how the business is doing – there might be a range of possibilities.  In the past, some larger organizations gave a cost of living raise of around 2-3% each year and then there was the possibility of getting more depending on the “merit” of your performance – so a total of 2-10% might be offered.  There has a been a trend away from cost of living increases and some businesses have not been in the financial position to offer raises as well, so listen for any information that your boss might offer on the performance of the business etc. Read more…

How long does it take to realize a dream?  Can you remember back to the inspiration – the creative flicker that set you on your current path?  Have you recently had a flash of insight that may become a dream and then a plan and eventually a reality?

In 2002, while on a trip – I was writing in a journal.  I was thinking about my job developing affordable housing and how much I had learned about confidence in the previous ten years.  My first time running a construction site, I was young and fairly inexperienced.  I was constantly tested by the site superintendent.  I finally found a way to be confident.  To see how I found my confidence, you can take a look this short clip on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPyhMOLuv-Y and look at Girls Who Swagger and then Swagger at Work on the website.

By 2002, I had moved from developing 35 townhouse units, a childcare and community center to overseeing the development of 27 acres  with more than 300 units of housing, neighborhood businesses, and a park.  This project, known as the Holiday Neighborhood is now a thriving, award- winning project – www.holidayneighborhood.com.  I had the confidence to coordinate seven different developers, multiple architects, bankers and lawyers.  I loved what I was doing and was feeling good about my abilities – but there was something in the back of my mind that kept surfacing.

At first swagger was just a whisper, a note on a page.  Then it was an idea that I began to quietly discuss with friends.  Next, swagger was a thought that I shared with other professional women.  An amazing thing happened – those women began to tell me their stories.  I started to collect the stories and the idea for a book was born.  After building a website and making connections through social media – I saw that swagger was bigger than a story or a collection of stories or a book – it was a part of a growing number of organizations supporting girls and women, working toward gender equality.  These organizations are creating momentum toward social change and the swagger movement is part of that sweeping wave of change.

It is 2011 – nine years since that first creative flicker.  In the picture above, I am back where I worked developing affordable housing – but this time, I am talking about swagger!  Amazing how life turns back on itself, spiraling and changing, crossing back and moving on.

What is your creative dream?  How will you achieve it?

Note:  photo by Liz Wolfert

Dear Friends – due to an overwhelming number of Spam comments, we will be closing the blog to comments for now.  To post a comment, please join us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/GirlsGuideToSwagger. Thanks, Cindy

If you believe that there are benefits of swagger at work, how can you get it?  As Rose says, sometimes you start out by faking it. “What I remember is that my heart was pounding out of my chest – but no one suspected.  I think successful men feel that way every day – swagger can be the face of a lie.”

If it is a lie – is it wrong?

Cyndi said she faked swagger and still does – when needed.  Anna says she can fake it, although that can feel draining rather than energizing, like real swagger.  Anna says it is like performance -being the voice of her non-profit organization, but it is not like sitting down with a group of women or teaching, where she feels her real power.

Faking swagger can be a bridge between feeling timid and feeling confident.  When you act confident, you feel more confident and are perceived as being more powerful.

Fawn Germer is a best-selling author and has earned four Pulitzer nominations in journalism. She was told by one boss that she was going nowhere.  In a 2010 article, she said “Fall down seven Times, Get Up Eight” is her motto for life.  She has interviewed prominent American leaders for her five books.  She came to realize that “so many accomplished women also have self-esteem issues…To have some of the world’s smartest and most beautiful women tell me that they feel inadequate tells me plenty about the number we are doing on ourselves.”  She says that the women who succeed are willing “to take a risk and bet on themselves…studies show that women are more risk adverse than men.  But these great women showed me that you have to fail a little if you are ever going to test your limits, and that you get a great education when you swing and miss.”  (Fall Down Seven Times Get Up Eight – A motto for life, AGG Denver 2010)

Are you willing to think strategically, to take smart risks?  Read more…